Another night, another epiphany.
I was working on a simple piece I've been working on for months. While it certainly has gotten better, I haven't been satisfied with my progress given the amount of time I've put into it.
My instructor and I had decided that I needed to memorize the piece, which would then get me out of my robotic note-following playing and free me up to apply effort towards things like dynamics.
So, as I was working on playing the piece from memory, I continued in my frustration. However, my frustration was over the difficulty I was having in memorizing it. I'd constantly forget a note here, or use an incorrect bowing there. It was aggravating and made me turn my attention to trying to remember those details (hmm...was that sustain 6 beats in this spot or 5? I know it was 5 somewhere and 6 everywhere else, but is this the right place?) As a result, my playing was STILL suffering.
Finally, I got frustrated and decided that this was crazy. While I know that memorization is valuable and there will certainly be plenty of times I will either want or have to memorize something, I wondered if I was going to be using memorization as a crutch? I can't possibly take the time to memorize every last piece I ever practice or play to perfection, or even to close to perfection. In fact, might I actually slow my progress by trying to depend too much on memorization?
So, I sat back down and concentrated on my sight reading. I worked really hard to try to stay ahead of the music and to let the notes flow off the page as it were, rather than me reacting to them robotically one-by-one. And amazingly, it started clicking. Well, as much as anything can click given my limited time playing the cello.
In any case, it started clicking well enough that I've begun to wonder: should I really focus in on my sight reading even if it means less practice in memorization at this early point in my "career?"
I'm going to discuss it with my instructor at the next lesson, but I think the answer may be "yes." It certainly would be liberating to develop my sight reading to such a point where I can feel comfortable to sit down with a piece of music on my level and play it acceptably including things like bowings and dynamics without having to spend weeks or months memorizing it.
Yes, I realize it's not that simple and I will still have to practice pieces diligently for a LONG time before my sight reading ever gets good enough to "sit and play" like some master cellists seemingly can do. But, wouldn't my energy be better spent focusing on sight reading rather than an endless cycle of memorization?
